Saturday, April 4, 2009

and baby Finn makes three...


about birthing I'll say nothing, thus joining the great conspiracy amongst women to protect one another from the most primal and animal experience one can conceive of...

Finn was born at about 8pm on MArch 29th. When they put his slimy wriggling little self onto my chest for the first time all the pain made complete and perfect sense.

Now we're one week in and just starting to find some rhythms and not live in a constant state of terror!
All control, all 'knowledge' and all assumptions have been rolled up with the dirty nappies and thrown in the bin as we tussle with a highly scheduled routine of preparing for feeds, feeding, burping away Finn's hiccups then getting him to sleep. Just as this routine ends its starts again. It's compelling, all-consuming, exhausting and yet marvellous...

Somehow in there we find the time to feed ourselves and enjoy little moments: congratulating each other on good work and slight successes (like dressing a squirmer!), lying on the couch listening to Goldfrappe's 'Seventh tree' as a sunbeam falls over the face of my little boy and his mouth curls in a mysterious Mona-smile, tucking him into a crisp-sheeted cot and hearing him sigh as his eyes rolls back and sleep starts, or watching his eyes take in the huge morning sky as I take him outside for air-time.
The house moves to new rythms, breathes in smells of baby and glows with nightlights as we grope about learning. My cats twine around my feet, delighted with the smell of rich breast-milk that clings to me.

A house of love.

2 comments:

PROUD WOMAN said...

and you thought you're blog was boring!!!! you've had a whole new world of writing opened up to you Lil... when you can fit it in of course!!!!

how're your feline babes coping with the new, strange noises emanating from your boy???? how's that hey, "your boy"!!!!!

is he a happy wee-un??? does he cry much... so many questions to ask... can't wait to see you and meet Finn... definitely somewhere around both of our birthdays...

will give you a call to work out when it suits you... only day can't do it is the monday, 20th - another trip to hospital with me mum... can't remember at the moment what this visits for...

look after yourself and talk soon...

larrythelibrarian said...

lovely writing i am forwarding this to the pudding club at work